


Scare

by laxit21



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cancer, Domestic, F/M, Medical Procedures, Mentions of Cancer, Uncertainty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laxit21/pseuds/laxit21
Summary: Oliver Queen would do anything for Felicity and she'd do the same for him, but what happens when the threat against one of them is something Oliver can't fight and Felicity can't hack?
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 23
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'm kind of dealing with a lot right now and this is my way of processing some of it. This fic isn't gonna be like any of my others for that reason.
> 
> Second, Oliver is still a vigilante, but there will be minimal Arrow-ing. Also, let's pretend like the second half of Season 6 went completely differently, the bad guys were all stopped and Olicity are happy at the start of this.

Felicity woke up to the blaring of her phone alarm. She let out a groan and dramatically threw one arm over her face. She didn’t want to get up. Next to her, she heard a chuckle from her husband. Oliver was laughing at her.

“What’s with the dramatics?” He asked her.

“I don't wanna get up. I’m comfy like this.” She said.

“So, don’t.” He said. “It’s not like we have to go to work or anything. Plus, Will’s at camp, so we have no commitments.” 

The city council was in recess. Felicity didn’t need to work since her shares in Palmer Tech earned enough for her to live on. After Cayden James and Ricardo Diaz had been stopped, and the FBI left Star City, Felicity and Oliver had a long talk and decided, with crime in the city being so low, they should take a step back from vigilante business. If there was a huge, world-ending event, they’d be there, but the city didn’t need the Green Arrow like it used to. They could stay in bed all day if they wanted to.

“No, I have to get up.” Felicity said, pushing herself into a sitting position. “I have a doctor’s appointment that i’ve rescheduled twice already.”

Oliver sat up. “You have a doctor’s appointment? Why? Is something wrong? Do you feel sick?”

“No, I- it’s just a routine appointment.” She said. She hadn’t meant to worry him, but she supposed not telling him about the appointment made it seem urgent.

“Is it for your back? Is your chip not-.”

“Oliver, it’s an appointment with my gynecologist. I have one every year to get my birth control prescription renewed and get a pap smear.” She said. “I promise. It’s gonna be fine. I’ll be back in like an hour.”

Felicity went to her appointment. It was a completely normal visit, as she told Oliver it would be. The doctor said she’d contact Felicity if her test results came back irregular, and the blonde went about her day.

Felicity and Oliver had both completely forgotten about the appointment over the next few weeks. Oliver was looking through the mail when he noticed an envelope addressed to Felicity.

“Honey, you have something here from Star City Women’s Care.” He told her.

“What?” She asked in a concerned tone. She raced over to take the envelope from him. “This is my GYN’s office.”

“Maybe it’s just a notice they sent to every patient.”

“No, I got one of those before, the envelope didn't look like this. This is-.” She froze. “These are probably the results of the sample she took.”

“It could be good news.” He told her when he noticed her expression. She looked terrified.

“It’s not. They only- the doctor only contacts you if something comes back irregular.” She said. She turned the envelope over and opened it. She pulled a sheet of paper out and grabbed Oliver’s hand. “I know this sounds dumb, but I can’t- I’m scared of what this says.”

Oliver just squeezed her hand back and waited for her to read the letter.

_ Dear Ms. Smoak, _

_ I am writing to inform you of the results of your recent pap smear to test for cervical cancer. It’s my duty to inform you that your sample came back as abnormal. Upon a second test of the sample, the results were inconclusive. As we cannot assume this to be a false positive, the next course of action is to collect another sample and send it to a lab for more testing. Please call our office at your earliest convenience to schedule an appointment. _

_ Regards, _

_ Dr. Benson _

Felicity read the letter once. Then a second time. No, this couldn’t be right. She must’ve read it wrong. There had to be something she’d missed. This wasn’t happening.

“Honey?” Oliver asked.

“I- the test came back as abnormal.” She said after a very long pause.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I might have cervical cancer.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver react to the news and Felicity goes back to the doctor.

“I- the test came back as abnormal.” Felicity told Oliver after a very long pause.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I might have cervical cancer.”

“Ca- cancer? What does-? What are your options?” He asked her.

She took a few minutes to collect herself before answering. “Well, the first test was abnormal. The second was inconclusive. So, the letter doesn’t mean I  _ do  _ have cancer, but it also doesn't mean I don’t. The only thing to do right now is call the doctor’s office to schedule an appointment to get another test done.”

“Do you- I can give you some time alone, if you need-.”

“No!” She yelled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- no, I don’t wanna be alone. Can we just….sit here for a little bit? Maybe watch some TV.”

“Sure.” Oliver turned on the TV and found a channel where they were running  _ The Office,  _ which they didn’t need to pay attention to. They both wound up staring blankly at the TV, lost in thought.

“Terrified” wasn’t a strong enough word for what Felicity was feeling. She might have cancer. What if the second sample came back as abnormal again? What if she did have cancer? The scariest thing right now was the sense of uncertainty. A week earlier, she and Oliver had been discussing possibly having a baby, but now, that seemed impossible. She wasn’t a doctor, she didn’t know much about gynecology, but she assumed this would affect her ability to get pregnant. What if she couldn’t have a baby after this? She had no idea what to do. She began crying and didn’t bother trying to wipe the tears away.

Oliver had stopped believing in God a long time ago, but if he still believed, this would’ve been the moment that he stopped. He knew bad things happened to good people, but the thought of something like this, something he couldn’t threaten or shoot an arrow at, happening to Felicity of all people was unfathomable. He felt completely lost and in over his head. He looked over at Felicity and could see she seemed just as stunned as he was. Tears were running down her face and he reached over to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“Don’t apologize. This is….” He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

Oliver wasn't sure how long they sat on the couch for, but eventually, Felicity stopped crying, got up to wash her face and went to call her gynecologist to schedule another appointment. The practice had an opening the following week, so Felicity booked the appointment and went to tell Oliver. She asked if he could be there for moral support, and he agreed.

The next week was nerve-wracking. All they could do was wait. Wait and worry, and in Felicity’s case, spend far too much time online researching cervical cancer and the possible treatments. Since the results had been inconclusive, they hadn’t told William, who was away at science camp, or anyone else about the situation. Felicity said she didn’t want to worry them, but he had a feeling that saying “I might have cancer” out loud to Donna or Thea or Digg or anyone else, was simply too much to think about.

The day of her appointment came. A nurse came in and took Felicity’s vitals and told her to undress. The doctor would be coming in shortly. After she had changed into the medical gown, Felicity told Oliver that he could turn around. As they waited for the doctor, she said something she had been keeping to herself since she’d gotten the letter in the mail.

“I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too.” He said. “This is- I can’t do anything to make this go away. And as smart as you are, you can’t- this is a problem neither of us can solve.” He squeezed her hand. “No matter what happens, we’ll get through this together. I’m gonna be right here with you, every step of the way.”

The doctor knocked on the door before entering the room. She took a seat before looking at Felicity. “I know this is a scary situation and you probably have a lot of questions. If you don’t have any questions right now, or you forget one you meant to ask today or one occurs to you later, just give the office a call and I can answer them.”

“I know you can’t talk about other patients or anything, because privacy, but how often- you tested the sample once, and it was abnormal, and you tested it again and it came back as inconclusive. How often does that happen?” Felicity asked. “I just- the letter said it can’t be considered a false positive, but-.”

“It’s not a common result, but it happens often enough that it isn’t an indication that you definitely have cervical cancer. Which is why you’re here so that I can take another sample.”

“What happens if this sample comes back abnormal?”

“Well, pap smears look for changes in the cells of the cervix. When the results are abnormal, it could be the result of cancer or it could be what we call pre-cancer. If this sample comes back as abnormal, I would then do a procedure called a colposcopy, which would allow me to get a closer look at the cervical cells. If I spot something that concerns me, I’d do a biopsy of those areas and we’d send those for a different test. If those come back as precancerous, I’d go in and remove the precancerous cells and cells from the area around it. We’d then keep an eye on it to make sure the problem doesn’t come back.”

“That's if it’s precancerous. What if it’s cancer?”

“According to your records, you’ve gotten a pap smear every year for the better part of a decade. It is extremely rare for cervical cancer to progress so rapidly from cancer-free to cancerous in a year. If it is cancer, we’ll discuss your treatment options, but I don’t want you to leave here thinking you definitely have cancer.”

“How will this- if it’s precancerous, how will the treatment affect my fertility? Will I still be able to have a baby?” She asked.

“Assuming it’s precancerous, it won’t affect long-term fertility, but we recommend not trying to conceive for 6-12 months.”

Felicity asked a few more questions and then the doctor had her lie back and collected the sample for testing. The doctor said she’d put a rush order on the test and that she’d call Felicity with results when she had them.

Two fraught weeks passed before Felicity got a call. It was from Dr. Benson.

“Ms. Smoak, I have the results of your latest pap smear. I’m afraid the test came back as abnormal again.”

“Ok, so, what- I know you told me “The Plan” if that happened, but right now, I just can’t- I don’t remember what it was.” Felicity said.

“I’d like to do a colposcopy, which lets me look at your cervical cells, and the surrounding area, more closely for signs of dysplasia, which is a fancy term for abnormal cells. I may do a biopsy at that time for testing.” Benson said. “I had a patient cancel for tomorrow, if you’d like to come in tomorrow. The time slot is at 10:30. If tomorrow isn’t good for you, I have appointment slots open next week.”

“Tomorrow, please tomorrow.” She blurted out. “Do I- is this something where I need to fast or- will I be put under anesthesia?”

“You don’t need to fast. It’s done in my office and you won’t be under anesthesia, but we recommend taking an Advil or Aleve before coming to the office, because there may be some discomfort if I do have to do a biopsy.”

“Okay, thank you.” She said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Felicity ended the call and immediately sunk down onto the floor sobbing. Oliver found her there half an hour later when he came back from the store. Through her tears, she managed to tell him what had happened and that she had an appointment the next day.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” He said, rubbing her back. He’d never felt more helpless.

“I need to call my mom.” She said. “I didn’t- she needs to know that this- if I call my mom, will you call Thea?”

“Of course.”

Donna broke down crying when Felicity told her about the results. She wouldn’t be able to get a flight to Star City on such short notice, but promised she’d be there as soon as she could. Thea drove over as soon as she got off the phone with Oliver. She vowed to be there in whatever way Felicity needed her until this situation was resolved. 

Felicity didn’t get much sleep that night and could only eat a few bites of the breakfast Oliver made her the next morning before driving to the doctor’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any medical inaccuracies. This story is based off of a health scare that I had and I based a lot of the science on what I remember from that time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity undergoes a procedure and gets some answers about what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the note at the end.

Oliver drove Felicity to the doctor’s office and told her he’d be sitting in the waiting room once the colposcopy was done. While he wanted to be with her for the procedure, she’d hinted at preferring not to have him there, in the room, while Dr. Benson was doing the exam. A nurse called her name and led her back to an exam room. He sat in the waiting room, trying to keep himself calm and not attract attention.

Felicity followed the nurse to an exam room and tried not to think about how she felt like she was walking to her death. This all felt too real, too terrifying, for her to try and pretend like it wasn’t a big deal. Part of the reason why she asked Oliver to stay in the waiting room was because of how real it felt. She didn’t want him to see how terrified she was right now. She followed the nurse’s instructions to change into the paper gown and before she knew it, Dr. Benson was entering the room. The doctor asked her a few questions before starting the procedure.

Felicity laid on the table and tried to calm her racing thoughts. She could feel the doctor performing the colposcopy, but her mind tuned the sensation out. A downside to being as smart as she was was that her mind could come up with a thousand “worst case” scenarios. Even as she wrote one possibility off, two more soon occurred to her. She felt helpless and hated the feeling. She was so lost in her own thoughts that, before she knew it, the doctor was telling her that she could sit up now.

“Sorry, I- you’re done already?” Felicity asked.

“Lost in your own thoughts?” The doctor said. “That’s understandable. It’s been about 25 minutes. I did see one area of abnormal tissue, so I took a biopsy sample. You may have some soreness or dark discharge for the next few days.”

“When will you get the results back?”

“A few days. As soon as I have the results, I’ll give you a call.” The doctor said. Felicity got down from the exam table and went to gather her clothes.Before leaving the room, the doctor stopped. “Felicity? I know it sounds impossible right now, but this doesn’t mean your life is over.”

“It might mean that.” She responded, but the doctor was already gone.

Felicity walked out into the waiting room and Oliver rushed over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He didn’t ask her how it went or anything like that. He simply led her out of the office and drove back home.

“We gotta- William comes back from camp today. We gotta tell him.” She said when they were halfway there. “He’s- frak, I mean, he lost his mom and now this is happening. He’s probably gonna be-.”

“We’ll tell him together.” Oliver said. “He’ll be upset, but not at us.”

“Still, he hasn’t had an easy year.” She said. “Can you drive a little faster? I really just wanna go home and lie down.”

“We’re almost there.” He said. 

They reached their apartment and Felicity went to lie down. Oliver could sense that she wouldn't be getting much sleep, but also wanted to be alone. He spent the next hour or so tidying up the apartment and trying to keep himself busy, until there was a knock at the door. He opened it to see both Thea and Donna standing there.

“Where is she?” Donna asked. “I need to see my baby.”

“She’s resting in our room. She said she- I don’t think she’s in the mood for company.” He said.

“If she wants me to leave, I will but I- I need to see her.” She said as she brushed past him.

“Wait, how’d you get here so fast?” He asked her. “I thought the next flight was-.”

“I used some of my miles to buy her a ticket.” Thea said. “This felt like something she should be here for.”

Donna went to go see Felicity while Thea took a seat on the couch, observing Oliver. The siblings sat in silence until Thea spoke. “How are you doing?”

“This isn’t about me. You should be asking Felicity that.” Oliver said.

“I will, and this isn’t happening to you, but you can’t tell me that you’re not just as scared right now as she is.” She said. “You’re the kinda person who always wants to fix people’s problems, and this is something you can’t fix. So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m terrified. The doctor keeps saying it might not be as bad as we fear but- Felicity might- I can’t lose her.”

“You’re not going to. There’s drugs and treatments with great success rates. Not to mention we’ve got plenty of friends who’ll do what they can, whatever they can, to help her. Plus, Felicity is even tougher than you are. She’s not gonna let you lose her.” She said. 

“Then, why do I still feel so helpless?” He asked.

Before Thea had a chance to answer, Donna came into the living room, followed by Felicity. Both women looked like they’d been crying. Thea rushed over to hug her sister-in-law and promised she’d be there for whatever she needed until this whole thing was over.

“Right now, I just need to somehow get my mind off of it. And I have no idea how to do that.” Felicity admitted. “I can’t- all I can do is wait, but I’m not good at waiting and I need to know. This is literally my life we’re talking about and-.”

“Honey. Breathe.” Her mother said. “I know this sounds cliche and unhelpful, but why don’t we watch some TV? A rom-com might get your mind off of things for a little while.”

Felicity just nodded and Thea turned on the TV. She found a channel that was showing a cheesy romantic comedy and they settled in to watch that. Things were going well, until halfway through the movie, the channel went to commercial and showed an ad for diapers. Felicity, aware that if she had cancer, she might not be able to ever have a baby, broke down in tears at the sight. The thought that she might never have the chance to conceive again, if the results were bad, only made her want to have a baby more. Thankfully, Thea, Donna and Oliver understood her reaction and didn’t try to rationalize with her.

When Oliver had to leave to pick up WIlliam from camp, Felicity asked Thea and Donna if they could leave for a little bit. She was happy they were here, but she wanted to tell William what was going on with only Oliver there. That was a conversation she, Oliver and WIlliam needed to have as a family. Thea and Donna seemed to understand, so they left at the same time Oliver did, and made Oliver promise to call them when Felicity was ready for company again.

Oliver picked up William from the camp drop-off and listened as his son told him all about the science sleepaway camp he’d been at for the last month as they drove home. He nodded along to what WIll said, but didn’t offer much commentary. Oliver had proposed that he pick up William from camp early, back when Felicity first got her letter, but she waved him off, saying she didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily and that Will was enjoying camp already. They reached the apartment and Oliver carried Will’s duffel bag inside.

Felicity was sitting on the couch and as soon as they walked in, she looked up. “Hey, Will. I’m excited to hear about camp, but we need to talk first.” There was no easy way to start this conversation.

“I just got home.” The boy said. “How can I already be in trouble?”

“You’re not in trouble, bud, we just need to talk.” Oliver said, putting his stuff down.

“Did Dad get arrested again? I thought the police dropped the charges.”

“It’s not that.” Felicity said with a sad smile. “I- a few weeks ago, I went to the doctor for a normal visit and she ran a test. The test was routine to make sure that my- are you old enough to hear all of this?” She wondered aloud before turning to Oliver. “Is he old enough to hear about-.”

“I sat through the health class about how babies are made two years ago.” William said. “This was a “lady parts” doctor, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was.” Felicity said. “‘The test came back as abnormal, which means I might be sick.” She said. “She did another test today, which is supposed to tell me if I have cancer.”

“Ca- cancer?” Will said. “But you- you can’t- you don’t seem sick.”

“This type of cancer, I wouldn’t look or act sick, not for a while. The doctor also said that it might be pre-cancer. And if it’s pre-cancer, I’ve got a good chance of being okay. But we don’t- we won’t know for a few days.”

William didn’t say anything, but rushed over to hug his step-mom. He’d already lost his mom. He didn’t want to lose her too. This wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t be sick. He suddenly felt very scared that he didn’t have a lot of time left with her. Part of him was also angry that they hadn’t told him about this earlier. If the test was done weeks ago, why didn’t they bring him home from camp early so that he could be here?

“Do I- do you need anything?” He asked her.

“Right now, I wanna hear about how science camp was.” She said.

“Camp was fun, but you- it’s not important right now.”

“Will, all we can do right now is wait for the doctor to call me.” She said. “I wanna hear about the things you did at camp. So, spill.”

Will told her about a few of the experiments he did at camp that he liked. He felt like he was being selfish, talking about the fun he had, but Felicity and Oliver kept encouraging him to continue. Thea and Donna returned around dinnertime, with Digg in tow. After everyone exchanged greetings, Digg pulled Felicity and Oliver aside.

“I might not be a genius, or master tactician, but I can tell when something’s wrong.” He said. “So, what’s wrong?”

“I might have cervical cancer.” Felicity said. “I don’t know if I do, because I just had the biopsy today, but- I only figured out how to tell my mom and WIll that I might be dying. The idea of telling you, or the others or- I hadn’t figured that out yet.”

“Understandable.” He said. “But I want you to know something. No matter what, you’re gonna make it through this.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Am I a doctor? No. But you’re one of the strongest people I know. I learned about five years ago, the first time you and Oliver butted heads in the foundry, not to bet against Felicity Smoak. It took your husband a little longer to figure that part out.”

“Hey!” Oliver said defensively. “You’re right, but still. Not cool man.”

Dinner was quiet, but Felicity felt a little bit better than she had earlier that morning. Hearing other people tell her that, no matter what, she had their support relieved her and made her start to believe that she might be okay.

Three days later, Felicity’s phone rang. It was her gynecologist. She answered it and tried to calm her racing thoughts. “Hello?”

“Hi Felicity, this is Dr. Benson. I have the results of your biopsy.” The doctor said. “The test indicates that your cells are precancerous and there’s a moderate amount of dysplasia.”

“Wha- I’m sure you told me all of this, but what does that mean in terms of treatment?” She asked. “Because “moderate amount” doesn’t sound good in this case.”

“It means we caught this in time.” Benson said. “I want you to come back into the office so that I can remove any other abnormal cells in the area. We’re then gonna keep an eye on it for the next few years and make sure the precancerous cells don’t come back.”

“Just like that? We remove the messed-up cells and just wait and see?”

“Yes. This type of cancer is one of the easiest to prevent, especially when we catch the problem before it becomes full-on cancer.”

“And what are the chances of it coming back?”

“If you get annual check-ups and I do my job as a doctor and keep a close eye on everything? Very, very low.” Benson said. “We found it. We’re gonna nip it in the bud and make sure it doesn’t come back.”

Felicity made an appointment to go back for another visit before telling Oliver the news. During her next visit to the gynecologist, Dr. Benson removed some more damaged tissue. When Felicity returned a few months later, her pap smear came back as normal. A year later, she had another one done, and the results were normal as well.

Two years, to the day, after Felicity received the letter from Dr. Benson about her abnormal test results, Felicity found out that she was pregnant. Several months later, Mia Smoak-Queen was born.

The pre-cancerous cells never returned, but Felicity never forgot the feeling of that health scare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story ends. I'd like to thank everyone who sent me supportive messages over the course of my posting this fic.
> 
> I had a health scare a few years back, like the one Felicity had in this fic. I'm fine now, but it terrified me at the time and I'm still a bit scared to think about it happening again. The recent, sudden death of someone close to me, while not due to cancer, brought some of my feelings to the surface and I needed to process those feelings, so I wrote this story. I know it focused more on the "waiting" than actual sickness but I wanted to explore how terrifying waiting and uncertainty can be.
> 
> Stay safe everyone.


End file.
